Philippians 4:4-7

The first three weeks after Adon was born were wonderful. He was nursing well, Grace was loving on him, there was tons of family around to visit with, etc. I felt so great I was walking every other day, enjoying the last of our nice Fall weather. I was so thankful for how many prayers God had answered positively concerning Adon. I remember telling Beej, “With every baby I just fall more in love with you”. And I was already daydreaming about more children, imagining myself loading them all into a large vehicle and driving them to the park.

Somewhere around week four the bubble burst. Adon was still eating every three hours around the clock. No long stretches for him at all, which meant the most sleep I’d gotten by then at one time was around 2 ½ hours. The lack of rest finally caught up with me, and I felt like I hit a wall. I made and broke plans all week because I was just too tired. My attitude plummeted. It wasn’t “oh Beej, I love you so much” anymore. It was more “how come you’re not reading my mind to help meet my needs”. Suddenly I was wondering if I was ever going to get any sleep or feel rested, and my thankful heart was long gone.

It is amazing to me how having a newborn (or any life changing event) can reveal weaknesses in my heart, my marriage, and the way I look to and think about the Lord. All that junk was already there, it just took a few sleepless weeks to draw it out. I did need rest—way more of it. But I needed Christ even more than I needed sleep.

Beej brought me a beautiful bunch of flowers, and we shifted gears. I pumped and Beej gave Adon a bottle for his midnight feeding. I let a few friends know that I desperately needed prayer. I got a little more sleep, and I memorized Philippians 4:4-7

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

I needed rest that only Christ can give. I needed my mind to stop racing with all I "had to" get done. I needed to stop doing everything out of my own strength and lean on His. And you know what, I feel a whole lot better.

In other news…

We’ve begun reading Timothy Keller’s “The Meaning of Marriage”. Perfect timing considering everything I mentioned earlier don’t you think?! We’ve made it through chapter three and already there have been some good and difficult conversations. It’s really causing us both to think a lot and stirring up a desire to grow more. I am looking forward to making our way through the rest of the book together.

I also read a great article about grief which I recommend even if you haven’t lost someone yet. It’s helpful to know how to encourage those who have. And another about cultivating a restful, quiet heart which I found incredibly convicting! Check ‘em out and pass them on.

We’re having Grace’s party this Friday. Just a small, low-key family party with cupcakes and a little cake I whipped up. But the big surprise I’ve been working on is a play kitchen. I scored two beat up nightstands that have taken me forever to transform. I am just hoping to have enough time to get it done by Friday.

And that's it for today folks. Hope your Thursday is going well!